Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops