Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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How old are you? 7

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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