How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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YO FACE

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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