Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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