Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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