What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops