What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops