jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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