Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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