How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops