A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -1

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops