Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops