What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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9/11

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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