Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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