How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops