Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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