Stop. Seriously stop.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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