Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops