hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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