How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops