How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Jeff

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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TOP KEK

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops