Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Lindsay Lohan

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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Weaner

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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