Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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France had one revolution

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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