so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

What's red and has wheels? A red car

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

how do you win a game try your best

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...