What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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