Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

gingers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops