Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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