Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops