whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops