Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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