Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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96

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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how do you win a game try your best

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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