What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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how do you win a game try your best

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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96

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops