What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops