What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Brain fart

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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