Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops