Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops