What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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Poop.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Vaginal secretions

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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