Your girlfriend.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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roses are red poo is poo

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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