Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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one stop shop

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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hi mom

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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