What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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9/11

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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