Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops