About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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