What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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