A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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What? Yes.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops