se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why can't february march Because april may

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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whats black and strange a paki

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Black people being friendly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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