A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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