Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops