A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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