What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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