- Anti Joke

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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